Our life will change and so will the homes around us. People move out in one place and move in another. We see renovations become a reality or collapse. Disasters happen. Clutter accumulates and is thrown away.
It is essential that we learn how to manage change.
Change is all in the Mind
“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom,” according to neurologist and Holocaust survivor Victor Frankle.
We must learn how to handle expected and unexpected change if we hope to live on and thrive as individuals and as a species. As we journey through life, we will be impacted by change, sometimes as subtle as a scattering of rain, sometimes as intense as a deluge.
On the domestic front, housemates, partners, friends and family will hurt us and make us sad, and will enter and leave our lives. Our home life will also be disrupted by physical changes such as renovations and change of address.
So how can we successfully deal with the different personal and domestic transitions that all of us will meet along the way?
Tips to Manage Change
Keep it real
We have a tough time managing and adapting to the various changes in our life because of negative feelings and unrealistic expectations. We tend to read painful emotions like fear and anxiety as an indication that we are not dealing well with the situation or that the imminent changes are on some level not “right.”
Face fear, don’t fight it
Growing doubt or that sinking feeling in your gut can actually indicate that change had truly come and you are already sorting it out. Own up to that fear, rather than struggle against it – it can help you handle both wanted and unwanted change.
Be realistic in your goals
If we have a set vision in our mind of how the various aspects in our life should be, such as our relationships, our lifestyle and even how our home should look, we are inclined to close up when our reality is not in accord with the frequently unrealistic goals we have set for ourselves.
Dreaming, planning and goal setting help us to adapt, but so is recognising that even the minor changes can upset our well-ordered lives, and that coming to terms with the change can take longer than we expected. When goals and hopes are not achieved, we tend to self-criticise and feel like a failure. This can make us revert back to accustomed but maladaptive behaviours that do not help us at all.
We’re just human, accept it
Accept that we are humans – flawed and we are built to experience and suffer pain.
If we could adjust our mindset to expect pain and conflict, alter our expectations in life, we would be able to easily accept and process life’s many changes.
Change is the only constant in our life. But as Frankle so astutely intimated, we have a choice of response - and therein lies our power.
So, go out and embrace change,
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